


Plain Sugar

by emothy



Category: Kamen Rider Wizard
Genre: Aromantic Character, Crack, F/M, Food Kink, M/M, Pansexual Character, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emothy/pseuds/emothy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aka "Haruto does everyone" (and one day during idle conversation they all find out. NONSENSE ENSUES.)</p><p>(Also Kousuke is conflicted about his sexuality, but what's new there? 8D)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plain Sugar

-

"You had sex with Haruto-kun?!" Rinko exclaims.

" _You_ had sex with Haruto-san?" Shunpei shrieks back. 

"I had sex with Haruto, too!" Kousuke yells over them both. And then can't work out why he said it. Just the heat of the moment. Competitiveness. It always gets him into trouble. 

"But, but if you did-" Shunpei says, pointing at Kousuke, "and you did-" pointing at Rinko, "and I did..." pointing at himself, of course, to remind him who he is. 

"Well!" Kousuke splutters. "It's not like we're in a relationship or anything! Haruto-san and I-"

"No!" Rinko agrees. "Haruto-kun and I aren't either!"

"-it was just two straight dudes, having manly sex together."

"Kousuke-san," Shunpei says authoritatively, "whatever you want to call yourself, I don't think Haruto-san is straight."

"Not if he's been having sex with men as well," Rinko muses quietly. "I had no idea, when we did it."

"Do you think there's a way to tell?" Shunpei's eyes are wide. Because Shunpei hadn't been with anyone before Haruto-san, and he still likes girls, so if the next person he has sex with is a girl, will they be able to tell? Is that a bad thing? " _Is that a bad thing_?" He presses, because he has to know!

"No!" Rinko says. "I mean, I don't know!" 

"What was it like when he was with you, then? Maybe there's some kind of pattern we can work out!"

Koyomi can't move. She so desperately wants to get up and flee the room as fast as she can, and perhaps never, ever come back, even once it's been sanitized. She just stays very still and very silent and hopes they will all forget she's even there, that's the only other suitable option. And if she could lose her hearing temporarily, that would be ideal too. If only Haruto had a ring for that... 

Of course, if Haruto were here there wouldn't be a need for it, since they wouldn't be-

Oh hell; they probably would still be talking about it; Haruto wouldn't even blink. Koyomi buries her head in her hands and tries to merge into her desk. 

-

"Sooooo," Shunpei says, placing his chin in his hand and contemplating thoughtfully, "Haruto-san is very different in bed depending on the other person! He always seems to know what you need." He shoots upright, pointing a finger in the air and exclaiming, "it must be because Haruto-san is a mage!" 

Kousuke shakes his head, sprawling back on the couch.

"I don't think so," he says. " _I'm_ a mage too, and I don-" He suddenly realises he probably shouldn't be bragging about not being so intuitive in bed as Haruto. "Anyway, it doesn't matter!"

Shunpei and Rinko share a look, but decide to keep quiet. They're Kousuke's friends too, of course.

"Koyomi-chan, you've known Haruto-san much longer than all of us," Shunpei suddenly realises. "You must have done it with him quite a few times!"

"What?" Koyomi gasps. Everyone looks at her. All of them, with their curious, hungry eyes. As if it would be any of their business if she had! Just because they're all happy to sit and talk about it, that does not mean she is! "No!" She insists. "No we did not!"

"Not a lot?" Shunpei asks. Koyomi presses her lips together hard and shakes her head firmly, just once. "Not ever?"

-

They're all looking at him. Haruto can feel their eyes on his back as he stands in front of the Hungry Donuts waiting for his turn. 

_"Haruto,"_ the memory of Koyomi-chan's voice plays in his mind. _"Do you know that everyone else talks to one another about what you are like in... in bed?"_

He smiles to himself. It doesn't bother him in the slightest; he told Koyomi-chan as much. If he'd been concerned about what people would say about the things he did he wouldn't do them! 

"Haruto-kun!" Manager-san croons, his head popping out from the window of the doughnut van. "Today, can we interest you in our special-?"

Haruto stops him with a held up palm. No point wasting their time.

"Plain sugar," he says. 

"Oh," comes the disappointed response. "Plain sugar, plain sugar, always plain sugar!" He hands it over anyway, of course; the customer is always right! 

Suddenly Kousuke guffaws, "Haruto isn't plain sugar in bed, if you know what I mean!"

Even Haruto wasn't expecting _that_. He misjudges his bite and ends up with a much bigger mouthful of doughnut than he'd intended. It also means he can't really contribute to the conversation. A saving grace in disguise, maybe.

"KOUSUKE-SAN," Shunpei says as Rinko covers her ears. "PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU MEAN MAYONNAISE SEX!"

His tone of voice suggests horror. Kousuke pouts and folds his arms. 

"It's not weird!" He protests. "Haruto was fine with it!" 

"That's enough," Haruto says, lifting Kousuke to his feet by his jacket and dragging him away. 

-

"I thought you didn't mind everyone talking about it," Kousuke says sulkily, sitting on the wall and looking down at the floor as he swings his feet and bumps them against the brick.

"I don't," Haruto assures him softly. "But when things get too detailed you'll make people uncomfortable." 

"Yeah," Kousuke agrees, kicking the wall properly now. "You're the first person not to freak out about the mayonnaise thing, to be honest."

"I was only joking at the time when I said I'd do it," Haruto admits. "But I didn't dislike it." To be fair he didn't have to touch any of it, just let Kousuke lick it off of him. 

"Do you think you're the _only_ one who is never going to freak out about it?" Kousuke asks. He keeps his eyes trained firmly on the ground. "Because, I'm _not_ -"

"Looking for a relationship?" Haruto asks, grinning to himself. He doesn't need to hear yet more about Kousuke's inner battle with his sexuality, that's something he has to deal with for himself. "Me either. I like things the way they are. I have my friends, and I like to have sex with some of them. And there's no way I'm the only person in the whole world who doesn't mind mayonnaise in the bed." Haruto punches Kousuke lightly in the shoulder. "What were you thinking, saying all that so loud?"

"I dunno," Kousuke replies sheepishly, jumping down from the wall. "Hey, I'm sorry?"

"It's fine," Haruto replies, waving off the apology. He gives Kousuke a little smile. "I wouldn't want people to think I was boring, after all." 

-

**Author's Note:**

> (I may actually write the Haruto/Kousuke mayonnaise sex one day).


End file.
